While stopping in a port-a-potty along the Yellow Brick Road, I met up with the Wicked Queen’s Magic Mirror from the classic fairy tale “Snow White.” I was surprised to see her hanging on the wall there, so I asked to be sure I had the right mirror.
Uh, excuse me, but you look familiar.
MIRROR: You got it. I’m “the” Mirror.
So, what are you doing here in a port-a-potty in Oz? Why aren’t you hanging in the Wicked Queen’s Castle?
MIRROR: Sigh. Here’s the deal. Ever since Snow White’s stepmother, the Wicked Queen, sold me in an estate sale, I can’t keep a job. I keep getting fired.
That sucks. Why do you think that’s happening?
MIRROR: Because my bosses say, “You have no tact. You don’t know when to shut your mouth.” But that’s my niche!
You mean like, when the Wicked Queen said, “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who in this land is the fairest all?” You said, “Snow White.”
MIRROR: Exactly. Every time! I tell it like it is! I’ve always been outspoken, but the world has changed. Now everybody’s worried about being politically correct. I can’t connect.
What ‘s gone wrong at your recent jobs?
MIRROR: The first job I got after the estate sale was in a mall. I was working in a dressing room in a clothing store. So a girl came into the room and didn’t look right in pants she was trying on. She was gonna buy them, when I said, “Nope. They make your butt look enorm-o.” So I got fired.
MIRROR: Then I got a job in a hotel elevator. Same problem. If someone got in and I thought they could look better, I’d say, “You’re going out like that?” Again, I’m fired. Out the door.
Might it be possible to be just a tad more diplomatic?
MIRROR: I honestly don’t think I can change at this point in my existence. But I can’t afford to stop working.
Well here’s a twist. To be honest, I’d appreciate a mirror who can tell me the truth because I need motivation. I avoid mirrors when I’m not feeling good about myself. I get this underlying depressed feeling. And then, I don’t take care of myself. I’d welcome a kick in the rear.
MIRROR: Really? You would let me hang in your house??
Definitely! I’m trying to find my spark, and you’d force me to really look at myself. So, are you up for hanging in my hallway?
MIRROR: I’d love to. I could even start right now. You need a hair trim. You’re too old to be walking around with hair that long. And stand up straight! You slouch! You’re gonna get osteoporosis! And…