CONVERSATION WITH…A Wrinkled Water Bottle Who Still Hopes To Be Pretty

Traveling down the Yellow Brick Road, I met up with an empty plastic water bottle sitting on a shelf.  She’s self-conscious about her wrinkles. She doesn’t want to go with cosmetic surgery but has another innovative idea. She chats about it with me here.

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So, you’ve been a clear, plastic water bottle for a while.  Why are you obsessed with wrinkles now?

BOTTLE: Because they’ve become more prominent. When I was full of water, I never had time to look in the mirror. I was working for a marathon runner.  He was like a son to me.  He drank all the water from me non-stop.

Great metaphor.  And now?

BOTTLE:  Now I don’t have water inside me.  So I looked in the mirror the other day.   And OMG! The wrinkles are so noticeable!  They’re all over the place!

To me, your wrinkles are round and cyclical.  They’re not so bad.  Do you really want to have a  complete makeover?

BOTTLE:  Here’s the problem.  If you look around, so many water bottles don’t have wrinkles.  I don’t know if it’s genetic and they just have amazing plastic or they’ve had work done. Look at them:

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BOTTLE: When I stand next to these bottles without wrinkles, I look so much older even though we’re the same age.  And this is happening more and more.

It’s an issue with people, too.

BOTTLE: Are you serious?

It’s a problem with wrinkles and hair color.  You know, I started coloring my hair when I saw too much gray. But then, I looked around on the train when I was going to work and noticed NOBODY had gray hair!  Especially women!

BOTTLE: Thank the Lord I don’t have to deal with hair, too.  That would put me over the edge.

Yes, as a water bottle, you’re fortunate. So, are you thinking of having work done to minimize your wrinkles?

BOTTLE: No.  I have friends who swear by it, but it’s not for me.  I can’t get myself to do elective surgery. But, I still want to look pretty.

Then what’s another option?

BOTTLE: Tattoos.


BOTTLE:  Well, for me. There are some tattoos that are really pretty. And I’m going capless.  And accessorizing with flowers. And tinting my contacts and my water color.

So it sounds like you’re blending trendy looks with more classic styles.

BOTTLE: Definitely. I think you have to be willing to experiment with “out there,” creative combinations so you can come up with a style that’s right for you.

Thanks for sharing that innovative point of view. Do you mind if I come back later to see how you’re doing?

BOTTLE: Anytime.


I’m back with the wrinkled water bottle who’s about to show us there’s more than one way to look graceful and awesome when we’re older. Bottle, can you tell us about your makeover strategy?

BOTTLE:  Love to.

First, let’s take a look…


Wow! Details?

BOTTLE: I went with a vase-tattoo look.  You’ll notice my tattoo covers some of my wrinkles. The flowers and stems also lead your eye away from the wrinkles. I tinted my water light pink as another distraction. And to bring all the colors together, I got green contact lenses.  I’m still getting used to them.

You look really pretty. By any chance, would you be interested in sitting near the window in my house?

BOTTLE: I’d love to come!  You’re really inviting me to do that?

Absolutely!  Your creative spirit is inspiring!

BOTTLE:  Oh thank you. Now I just have to watch out for bees.

It’s always something.



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