On a hot day, over the hill on the Yellow Brick Road, I arrived at a cornfield. Instead of conversing with the Scarecrow, I noticed an older ear of corn wearing two braids. I had to talk to her!
Hey Corn! OMG! I’m so impressed!
Because, quite honestly, you look older…but you’re still wearing two braids! I’ve wanted to do that for years!
CORN: Then do it.
It’s not that simple. You see, where I come from, if you’re fifty or sixty, it’s sort of okay to pull your hair back in one ponytail or one braid. But if you wear two braids or two ponytails, lots of people think you’re trying to look younger than you are..in a tacky way.
CORN: That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Who made that up?
I don’t know.
CORN: I mean, is there an actual rule about not wearing two braids or two ponytails when you’re over fifty?
No. It’s just…unspoken. I’ve had long hair all my life. Once in a while, I feel like making two ponytails or two braids, so I do it. Then I look in the mirror and feel awkward and self-conscious. My only hope is Halloween.
CORN: Does everyone you know follow this bizarre law?
No. Once I saw an older celebrity wearing two braids along with sparkling, dangling earrings, a white tee shirt and ripped jeans. She looked amazing. It all hung together.
CORN: So in your case, make the braids or ponytails part of a whole “look.” I have to admit, sometimes when I wear braids to pull my husk off my face, I fill in my empty kernel holes with little sparkles.
I love that.
CORN: I think it’s sad that you’re braid deprived. While you’re here, want to hang out with me and my friend? We love wearing braids and ponytails bigtime.
That would be great! I envy you for not worrying about this stuff.
CORN: We have our problems. You should see the split ends on our husks. Very hard to work with.
I can text you the name of my cream rinse! It’s a little pricey, but it’s definitely worth it.
CORN: Thanks. That would be awesome.
After that, the corn introduced me to her friend. She was right. They did have really bad split ends.
We had the best day anyway! Although, I’m still not sure how to resolve the two braids issue in my own life. Any thoughts? When was the last time you wore two ponytails or two braids? (Note: I’m sorry I’m asking you to follow a fashion statement made by an ear of corn.)