CONVERSATION WITH…A Warty Gourd…Hoping Elective Surgery Will Help Her Move On.

Over the hill on the Yellow Brick Road, I noticed a warty gourd about to enter a hospital.  She looked terrified so I rushed over!


Hey Warty Gourd, do you need help getting to the ER?

WARTY GOURD: Oh!  No thank you!  I’m here for an elective procedure.  It’s freaking me out but I’ve made my decision.  I’m gonna do it.  Hopefully, it’ll make me feel less self conscious.

I’ve never met a self conscious warty gourd.

WARTY GOURD: Well this is your chance.  Ya know, years ago, in my early stages, I was a sensual, elegant flower.  Here’s my high school yearbook picture:


You were graceful and sexy.

WARTY GOURD: I know.  But I’ve gone through a lot of stages since then.  And now, looking and feeling older is standing in my way .  I can’t move on.  Like you saw in my photo, I’ve got all these gloppy bumps sticking out all over me just because I don’t work out.   Plus, no matter how little I eat, everything sits around my middle section like cement.

You’re not alone. I have the same rubber tire around my middle section and it’s not going anywhere anytime soon.

WARTY GOURD:  Exactly. I’m basically a blob surrounded by globs.

I think you look interesting and your globs reflect a life filled with experiences.

WARTY GOURD: Thanks, but I don’t feel that way. It’s so embarrassing.  Who in their right mind would look at me? Which brings me to my elective surgery.  I’m gonna become a maraca.

Wow!  Nice idea!

WARTY GOURD: Yeah. I’m into music and always wanted to be in a band. Now I can audition.

That’s so great!

WARTY GOURD:   But here’s the problem. It’s not a simple medical procedure. The doctor has to make an incision under my stem, take out my seeds, dry them out, put them back in, and sew me up.  The recuperation period is about six weeks. I guess it’ll worth be it.

I think it’ll be worth it! Because you’ll  hopefully be able to move on to a whole new part of your life.  It takes a lot of inner strength to do that when you get older. You’re setting an example for everyone aging in the universe.

WARTY GOURD:  Oy.  I can’t take the pressure.  I’m scared.  Am I doing the right thing?


The Follow Up:

Before I could respond, the surgeon entered and whisked the warty gourd away. Her maraca surgery went well. She even went on to do liposuction on her lumps and painted herself blue.  The gourd is now in a band in Mexico. She’s very happy… though she admits she gets nauseous and dizzy after being shaken up and down during a long gig.  Life isn’t perfect.


























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