Over the Hill on the Yellow Brick Road, after a rain shower, I watched a cloud pass away. My mind wandered to a thought about my own life. As I grow older, it’s devastating and frightening when someone I’ve been close to is suddenly no longer here. Even when a celebrity passes on, I feel there’s something missing from life the way I know it. I started thinking to myself, “Who or what will always be here for me? Who or what can I count on no matter how old I become?” Suddenly, I heard a bold voice cry out, “You can find the answer to that question in unexpected places!” I turned around, and there, standing behind me, was the “f” word. What???
Uh—you’re the “f” word? Right?
FUCK: Yup. It’s okay. You can say it. Go ahead.
FUCK: Very good. And it’s not like you haven’t said it before.
True. But, how or why can I count on you no matter how old I become?
FUCK: Think about it. Throughout your life, behind closed doors, when you’ve been incredibly frustrated or extremely upset, what’s the first word that springs from your lips?
FUCK: Exactly! I’ve always been an immediate form of stress release for you. I should be included on your health plan. I’m freeing! For a fleeting moment, I make life feel better. And as long as you can say me, I’ll always be here for you. I’ll never go away.
I guess that’s comforting in a warped way. Now that I think about it, when I’m angry or very confused, you ARE always there for me.
FUCK: Of course I am.
I mean, whenever I’m driving and someone cuts in front of me, if I shout, “You freakin’ idiot!” it doesn’t make me feel better. It has be to, “You fuckin’ idiot!”
FUCK: It’s a fit.
Or if I’m running to catch a train and the door slams a split second before I can get on, “Oh darn” just doesn’t work. It’s gotta be, “Fuck!!!”
And when my kids were little, if I couldn’t find them and I was terrified, when they finally showed up, there were no better words than, “Where the fuck were you???” Then I could take a deep breath.
FUCK: You got it!
Although…my kids did start to imitate me in front of their friends. I suppose they might have been invited on more playdates if I hadn’t said “fuck.”
FUCK: The world isn’t a perfect place.
Anyway…I thank you. You HAVE always been there for me in a healthy way, and I see now you always will be. It’s reassuring to recognize this as I grow older and feel more alone.
FUCK: Not many people thank me…
Well, in that case, dearest blogger friends, if you have compliments, examples, or words of praise you’d like to share about the “f” word, please write them in the comment box. On the other hand, if this post has upset or offended you, I’m really sorry! I know it’s not for everyone, but I felt it was something interesting to think about and–
FUCK: Stop fucking apologizing!