Over the Hill on the Yellow Brick Road, I came to a huge building known as “The Worriers’ Warehouse.” In my older age, I worry more than ever. So I went inside and immediately noticed an older reindeer nervously biting her hooves. It was easy to start a conversation:
Hey Reindeer, what are you worried about?
RUDOLPH’S MOM: My son Rudolph.
Wait. Are you telling me you’re Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer’s mother?
RUDOLPH’S MOM: Yes. And I’m constantly refilling my Valium prescription.
Why? What could you possibly be worried about? He’s Santa’s personal assistant! You raised this heroic, caring reindeer who pulls a sleigh filled with presents to children all over the world.
RUDOLPH’S MOM: Christmas Eve makes me crazy for the entire year. It takes me 364 days to recover from it.
Why?
RUDOLPH’S MOM: How would you like it if your son flew across the sky all night lugging a five billion ton sleigh filled with gifts? What’s holding him up there anyway?
Magic?
RUDOLPH’S MOM: Not the most reassuring concept for a mother. What if he makes a crash landing?
I never thought of that—
RUDOLPH’S MOM: Or if he doesn’t crash, what about his physical health? He’s dragging a sleigh full of gifts for kids all over the world with just a few other reindeer. He could pull his back out.
I see your point.
RUDOLPH’S MOM: Not to mention, my Rudolph could pass out from exhaustion! Thirst! Hunger! It’s a busy night! No breaks! Very high pressure! And I know him! He’ll never say no!
Another point well taken.
RUDOLPH’S MOM: And what if Rudolph has to fly through a blizzard? Or a tornado? Or a severe thunderstorm? Who knows how high those reindeer go? My son could be hit by a meteor! Or slam into the moon! He could—
All this makes complete sense, but you’re not alone. I worry about all kinds of things with my adult kids, too.
RUDOLPH’S MOM: Like what?
Bad relationships, lack of relationships, driving at night, driving too fast, driving when the sun is rising and blocking vision, driving when the sun is setting and blocking vision, traveling in planes, buses, trains, taxis, living on pizza, needing help when there’s no one around–
RUDOLPH’S MOM: Okay, okay. We’re on the same worrying page.
But with all that, I also think we’re giving our kids one big, giant, great gift.
RUDOLPH’S MOM: Oh good. Because I never know what to get Rudolph for Christmas. What’s the gift?
The gift of freedom. That way, our adult children can DO all the things we worry about. They have a chance to figure out where they belong in the world. When we don’t call or text them every five seconds or stalk them on Facebook, we’re letting them go. It’s a gift. Even though it kills us inside.
RUDOLPH’S MOM: Well in that case…why can’t we just say to ourselves we raised mature, intelligent beings who can take care of themselves and make good choices? What if I stopped worrying about my millennial reindeer so much?
What if I stopped worrying about my adult kids so much?
RUDOLPH’S MOM: Would something be missing from our relationships with our children?
Yes. Our connection.
RUDOLPH’S MOM: Are you sure about that?
No. But I worry about it.
Copyrightoverthehillontheyellowbrickroad2018
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Oh my…something to look forward to and to add to the worrying. 🙂
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Yes! It’s an ongoing party! 🙂
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My daughter lives with us so I know she’s ok. My son lives 5 minutes from me and I haven’t seen him since March. But either way, I worry equally about both. I think it’s just something we do as parents.
On a side note, I could live on pizza 😉
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My son could live on pizza too. Someday I’ll introduce you. 🙂
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🍕🥗🍺
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I never knew that reindeer worry so much. 😉 But then Rudolph and his mom are no ordinary reindeers. 😊
Does living on pasta also cause worrying? Because that’s what I do sometimes. 😉
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No, living on pasta is nothing to worry about. Just pizza. LOL
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After I’ve done all the things I can to make a situation better, I tell myself that the rest is out of my control and worrying about it has never been helpful. Then the problem gets smaller and more manageable in my head (because that’s where worrying happens before it travels to the frown wrinkles and frayed nerves, and black rings around sleepless eyes). Worrying has got to be one of the most useless states of mind.
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I agree! Worrying stinks…but I happen to be exceptionally good at it. I find sometimes “out of sight out of mind” helps.
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Yes, as long as you have exhausted all the sensible solutions, out of sight, out of mind works well.
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I so enjoyed this post, thank you for the smiles!!!!
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That means the world to me! I’m so happy you enjoyed it! 🙂 🙂
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I am so happy to hear………I loved it!
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🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
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I sigh a lot, and I also smile a lot knowing that they are smart and resourceful and that they know that I worry so they do keep me posted on their lives. Thanks for sharing this fun post!
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Great point. I think my kids know I worry about them too. I wonder if they would worry if they thought I wasn’t worrying. 🙂
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LOL – I think they would! I know mine do, at least for a moment, when I say, “No, I didn’t worry, I knew you had it all figured out.” Then they quickly ask, “Why not?” And follow up fast with, “Whew, I’m happy to hear you didn’t worry!” And…that’s why my gray hair is so natural for me ;-)!
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LOL. I also feel when I show my kids how much I worry it sets a negative example for them. If they become parents one day, will they feel compelled to imitate my over-the-top-worrying behavior? I hope not!
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Prayers, lots of prayers
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Oh yes! The older I get, the more prayers spring from my lips!
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This speaks to me. I worry non stop and it’s hard not to call just to hear her voice. Living on a prayer 💗😊🌞
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I worry non stop too. I think there’s an art to worrying if you do it enough. There are endless things to worry about. It can be quite a creative process. 🙂
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I don’t think I ever really prayed until I had kids. Now I do it all the time. As far as worrying…. It doesn’t really make my son be more careful driving on the switchbacks in CA, does it? etc etc etc The worry about 3 adult kids is always there in the back of my mind, but it’s unproductive, of course, so I just try to live my life and keep busy, because it seems that it’s out of my hands. Spontaneous smiling for no reason helps lift spirits.
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Many years ago, I was on those swtichbacks in CA on vacation. OMG! It’s a wild ride! I agree about praying and smiling for no reason. And…showing constant gratitude helps as well. I think. I hope. Oh no, now I’m going to worry about it.
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Great philosophy. Sometimes it wears you out 🙂
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As a professional worrier, I definitely agree. Worrying does wear you out. 🙂
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Who knew Rudolph was Jewish on his mother’s side!
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I know! It’s the best kept secret in the world. The word is out!
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I live in a different country from my children. I lived first in France with three in Britain and the fourth in Malaysia and more recently I have moved to the USA and three are in Britain and the other is now in Switzerland (very close to where I lived in France, ironically). some days I am a complete basket case and other days I effect swan-like grace. I have absolutely no idea what the difference is on the good to the bad days. I just know that mummies are mummies their whole lives through and the toughest thing is not cutting the cord but not letting them see how much it hurts us in order to give them their wings. 😕
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Do we ever really shut it off?
Brings the song “Always On my mind” to mind.
Hugs! ❤️🙋🏻♀️❤️
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No, I don’t think we ever really shut it off completely. It’s always dripping. 🙂
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I have a confession to make: I was once so clueless that I thought I would stop worrying about my children when they were grown up. As to how I manage the worry I still have about them (and they are 29 and 31), I’ll let you know when I figure it out!
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Ha ha! I think the older I get, the more I worry about my kids. Who knew?
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Our parents knew – ‘cos they worried too! It’s in the job description for parenting, except no-one ever told us 🙂
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Well, I’m doing my best to let my kids know how much I worry about them. That way, if ever have kids, they won’t be surprised. It’s the least I can do for them. 🙂
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I’m sure they will appreciate your concern 🙂
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LOL
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Lots of prayer and staying busy with new things in my life.
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As usual, I’m with you! You hit the nail on the head.
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I would say prayer is my solution, and that is something I do. But then I forget I prayed and keep worrying. Sort of negates the concept, ‘If you pray, why worry?’ My mother was not a worrier but my father was. After he had worried himself into a state over something that didn’t happen, Mom would say, “Once again, your worrying paid off.” Now that I have grandchildren, I have a new generation to worry about. Saying my prayers and writing them down so I won’t forget them. I find some relief in that! -Molly
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Thanks for that prayer suggestion, Molly. I pray too, but I never thought to also write my prayers down. Maybe if I do that and look at what I’ve been saying over and over and over again in my head, I’ll calm down. (Well, there’s a 50-50 chance.)
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It’s worth trying even for a 50-50 chance, Cathi. 😉
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I think worrying comes with the parenting job so you’re never “free” from it, but you do gain more perspective with time. Like understanding that freedom is necessary for your kids to learn from their mistakes. It can be hard but it’s part of life as you’ve so beautifully pointed out in your piece.
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Thanks so much for your insightful, perceptive words, as always. Sometimes when I think about parenting and all the worrying involved, I imagine myself on a roller coaster, with my seat belt fastened really tightly so I can hold onto my sanity.
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That final line cracked me up! ❤
Yes, we can give them freedom and confidence in themselves, but we all know it takes a Santa's Village to raise a child… 😉
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Right. And maybe the Shoemaker and the Elves’ village too, and all of Neverland. 🙂
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true and funny! love the conclusion. I think when we are older, we have gathered a collection of things to worry about because we have heard the stories and experienced so much ourselves. We try to raise our children to become independent, but we are mothers and it is quite unnatural NOT to worry., I think-or maybeI am just crazy, after all. love Michele and God bless our children!
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Yes! God bless our children!
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Oh this is so true and timely! I was literally just worrying about my 19 year old. I know I have to let go but yup it’s hard! We train them to be independent and than its like we want to grab them back and say Wait!
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I know! That’s how I feel! It’s hard to shake it!
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Yes it is! One breath and day at a time!
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Oh poor Rudolph’s momma! I worry about too much! I especially worry about my 22 year old daughter! College life scares me! I’m about to send my baby to school too😬 ugh! I’m working hard on reminding my self all the worry will not stop anything. I have to trust God with them. And trust we raised smart strong kids. Prayers for protection all the time!!
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Pingback: K’s Blog Recommendations 9.6.2018 plus BUILD YOUR BLOG 101! | theblackwallblog
I’m so sorry it has taken me a while to respond to your Build Your Blog post! I have fallen behind with my blog reading time and I was planning to read your post today. I’m so grateful and flattered you included my blog on your list. You know that means a lot to me! Again, so sorry for the delay responding. I’ve just been a little crazed lately. I’ll get back on track soon. 🙂 🙂 Cathi
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