Conversation With…A Dried Flower…about the parts of ourselves that die.

/ overthehillontheyellowbrickroad

Traveling Over the Hill on the Yellow Brick Road, I came to a fork in the road.  The path that led to the left had a powerful, bright light at the end. The path on the right led to TJ Maxx. My favorite clothing store. Which was the correct way to go?! I noticed a dried flower floating toward the bright light. Actually, it was a beautiful, dried rose.  I asked her opinion…

dried flower

Excuse me! Dried flower?  Do you know which way to go?

DRIED FLOWER: It’s a matter of opinion.  I’m surprised you’re talking to me.

Why?

DRIED FLOWER: Because I’m dead.

No problem. I’ve always wanted to talk to someone dead.

DRIED FLOWER: Okay. Your choice. So, what do you want to know?

How do you know you’re dead?

DRIED FLOWER: I Googled it. The definition of death is, “the cessation of all vital functions.” Since I don’t have to make sure I have water or sunlight anymore to keep going or growing, it sounds like the right diagnosis.

How does it feel to be dead?

DRIED FLOWER: Kind of freeing in a way. I can let go of stress and move on. But this is crazy. I’m sure you can’t relate.

In some ways I can. I mean, even though I’m alive, some parts of me have passed on.

DRIED FLOWER: What are you talking about?

Well, I used to have brown hair. Now it’s gray. I’ll never have brown hair again. That phase within my body has died. Passed on.

DRIED FLOWER: Interesting. What else?

I used to menstruate, but that part of my system has shut down. Died. I’ll never get my period again. And there’s more. There are emotional deaths.

DRIED FLOWER: Like what?

Well, I remember when I was a teenager, one summer I went to sleep away camp. I was obsessed with the boys and having a boyfriend. There was a newness, a crispness, a freshness about the anticipation of that experience. I can’t really describe it, but it was so exciting. Even if I tried to go back to that phase of life, I’d experience it differently because I’d bring wisdom and perspective to it now. That phase of my life has passed on. I’ll never feel quite that way again.

DRIED FLOWER: Hmmm…

But then, there are other emotional phases I’m happy have died. Like, for years I used to be terrified of thunderstorms. If thunderstorms were in the weather forecast, I’d hide in a bathroom with no windows while the storms passed through. But then! When my son was born, I suddenly wasn’t afraid of thunderstorms anymore. Out of nowhere.

DRIED FLOWER: Maybe you realized you had bigger things to worry about.

Maybe. Now I actually love thunderstorms.

DRIED FLOWER: That’s nice.

So you know? Maybe life and death aren’t black and white. Maybe deaths are just series of cycles that move on to new cycles…even during life. I mean, look at you. You’re dead, but you’re an elegant, rust color. You’re very beautiful.

DRIED FLOWER: Thanks, but I gotta go now. I’m feeling pulled toward the  bright light.  Want to come?

No thanks. I’m going shopping.

DRIED FLOWER: What’s so enticing about TJ Maxx?

When you go in, you have to wade through a lot of stuff to find something you really like. You might find something, you might not. But if you do, it’s the greatest feeling, and it’s probably on sale so it’s within your reach.

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With that, I took a few steps toward the store. I turned around to say good-bye to the dried flower, but she was gone.

Copyrightoverthehillontheyellowbrickroad2018

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Are there parts of you that have died?

65 thoughts on “Conversation With…A Dried Flower…about the parts of ourselves that die.”

  2. I loved this Cathi. Like you parts of me are no longer BUT I have new parts which have come with age. I have freedom to come and go as I wish, no one to answer to. I can get up and go to bed when I want and I can paint all day long. My list is endless to the benefits of getting old. I love it. 🌹

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  3. I love this…I really do. Enchanting and spot on…that’s a wonderful, delicate balance. I’ve always had a fascination with death and you may have hit on some of it…but then to tie it all in with TJ’s…WoW!

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  5. You hit the top 2 – hair and female cycles – but you know, when I think about it with a clear (dust off the emotions of saying goodbye to the stage) each one of those changes has brought about a new part of me to enjoy and grow along with the change. I enjoyed your conversation! PS – I enjoy TJ Maxx, too!! It’s hard to come out of there empty-handed 😉

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    • Ha ha! I have to say, one thing pissed me off in TJ Maxx the last time I was there (this week). They added skinny mirrors. I used to count on TJ Maxx in the dressing rooms. No matter how crummy I looked in whatever I tried on, at least I knew when I brought it home I wouldn’t look worse. I have been betrayed!!!!!

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  10. I love this! One of the things in me that has died is the ability to eat whatever I want. In the past six years I’ve developed a bunch of food allergies and greasy, rich food makes me feel really sick. On a different note – I too love TJ Maxx and Home Goods (of course I do)!

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  12. There is freedom in having things ‘die off’ especially if they are toxic emotions like, jealousy, greed, pride, etc. Once they are dead, there is space to embrace true love and peace. How’s that for some philosophizing this morning, Cathi? Ooh! My head hurts. Now I’ll go lay down for a while. haha!

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  13. Loved this! … I hate to think about death but I’ve never looked at it like this before, the parts of us that die and offer new beginnings. Having children has been a big change, the want for myself has died & become wasn’t for my children instead. I guess it hasn’t died but evolved instead… X

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  14. I absolutely agree with this – our lives go through cycles and parts of us change or move on, which is kind of like dying, but there is always the opportunity for growth and new life too. I’m coming up to 50 and I feel like I’m starting another life now. 🙂

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    • I began having that “starting a new life” feeling when my children grew up and left home. Even though I’ve had a full time career all my life, my children leaving home made me feel older and transitional. I’m trying to focus harder on the positive rather than the negative. Your comment helped. Thank you!

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  15. You’re right, there isn’t really just one death, there is a series of deaths. And some of them are actually good things. As for TJ Maxx (and Home Goods), the thrill of the hunt is the biggest lure! Great post!

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  16. Well, we have a lot in common! A lot of my fears have died-and good riddance! The need for approval. the need to impress and the need for stuff are some things . Of course youthful skin is gone- and a host of other things . . .that I do miss! great post!

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    • Ah yes! Thank you so much for reminding me of those other fears that have died–the need for approval, need to impress, need for stuff. I forgot about them, and they have thankfully passed on! I don’t know how it happened–but it did! I mean, how many charming souvenirs can you possibly buy in Vermont? LOL

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  17. Interesting blog post, and a fascinating question, “What are the parts of you that have died?”

    Too much and too many things to list them all. Once I was a small businessman employing 13 people. That passed on by. I became a free-spirit and a waiter who frequently took road trips with men and women half his age to every place we could think of, including nudist resorts — something I never thought I’d get into. But that passed on by too..

    I don’t think there’s even one thing that’s constant in life. But among my favorite quotes is Kenko’s, “Uncertainty is the most precious thing in life.”

    Thanks for your post.

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  18. Love this conversation, Cathi! And my mum’s also a big fan of TJ Maxx (though here it’s called Tk Maxx, don’t ask me why). If it had been her in the story she would have simply picked the rose up and then sprinted down to Tj maxx. 😉

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  19. Hmmm, you have asked a very complex question. This is something I’ve never really thought about, but will be doing so. The only thing I can think of right now is, when my Dad passed, a piece of my heart died, too. I suppose we all know that one, in some way. Thanks for making me think this out. It could solve some of the current issues I’m attempting to lay to rest. ❤

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  23. What an original way to talk about our concerns regarding changes and to link it to shopping is brilliant! I confirm, there is no T. J. Maxx in Canada. But we do have Winners. Almost the same I heard. Treasure Hunt is the best thing about shopping. That’s why I love vintage store as well. By the way, I hate those skinny mirrors too. They should be prohibited by law. They create an illusion and therefore it is false advertising.

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  24. Well done! We all have those parts of us that died. Not died in a bad way, for they left memories to savor, but yes time keeps marching on to new and different experiences and there still is beauty in a dead rose.

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