Conversation With…An Older, Wiser Question Mark…about losing momentum while growing older.

/ overthehillontheyellowbrickroad

Though I’m still traveling Over the Hill on the Yellow Brick road, I haven’t written much lately because I’ve been thinking. Up to this point, I’ve mustered up positive energy while growing older…but suddenly and unexpectedly, it has come to a halt. What can I do? I was told I’d have a life changing experience if I spoke to the Older, Wiser Question Mark. I found it sitting by itself in the middle of nowhere and I started a conversation…

question mark

Hey Question Mark, I’ve got a question. Why have I suddenly lost momentum? Why are the freeing feelings I’ve had during this phase of life no longer there?

OLD QUESTION MARK: I don’t know.

Okay. Maybe I should be asking this a little differently. Is it possible that I’ve reached a certain satisfying point during the aging process and I’ve expressed everything I have to say about it? Now I need to talk about a different aspect of it? Do I need a new perspective and a different way to creatively express my feelings?

OLD QUESTION MARK:  I don’t know.

This feels like a bad therapy session. Listen to me! How can I pull myself out of this rut and find a new direction?

OLD QUESTION MARK: I wish I knew.

Okay. I get it. You’re a question mark. You’re never going to give me a straight answer. Right?

OLD QUESTION MARK: What do you think?

What do I think?  I think I’m at the end of my rope! I’m totally and completely frustrated! I need help!  How do I channel my older energy when it’s suddenly just sitting there?????   I mean, here’s something I’ve learned in the past year. I see my  older body can still heal itself at this moment, so I can push it a little harder to keep it healthy.  But NOW, how do I go about it? Do I take private yoga classes for overly sensitive, paranoid Baby Boomers? Do I  work with a trainer and lift one pound weights for six years until I’m brave enough to lift two pound weights?

OLD QUESTION MARK: I wish I could tell you.

I wish you could tell me, too! Because here’s another thing I’ve learned in the past year that’s making me feel stuck.  Sometimes I have random aches and pains for no reason.  Okay, fine.  I finally accept that. But NOW I  need to know how to keep my head when my body does weird stuff. How do I remind myself it’s the way my body works at this point in life and those feelings will come and go?

OLD QUESTION MARK: I–

Don’t say it!  And another thing! How do I move forward creatively when I’ve already said what I have to say about older age? Shall I call old colleagues and network? Do I reach out to companies with my ideas and test the water? You know? Just ask questions about what they’re looking for and see if my ideas are in sync with theirs?

OLD QUESTION MARK: If I respond, you’ll just get mad.

Hey listen…you might be shocked, but I’m actually getting something out of this conversation. I’m feeling inner strength emerging. I’m starting to realize it’s not what everyone else thinks at this time in life, it’s more about what I think and being very specific about what’s right for ME. And if I don’t have the answers right now, asking questions is a good way to start the process. I think that’s what I’m supposed to be getting out of this conversation. Am I right?

OLD QUESTION MARK: What do you think?

Copyrightoverthehillontheyellowbrickroad2018

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What do  YOU think?

 

 

103 thoughts on “Conversation With…An Older, Wiser Question Mark…about losing momentum while growing older.”

  1. I think I have the same problem sometimes! And that’s an exclamation! Seriously, sometimes I feel like I have no inspiration left and have said everything I was going to say, and that I really don’t know what to do next… And I totally agree that you have to do what feels right for YOU. Asking questions is a good way to start even if the answers don’t come right away. Love this entry btw. 🙂

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  2. Many of us feel this way but you nailed it in your last paragraph. Although it isn’t easy not to want to change or feel we need to do ‘what everyone’ else is advising for positive aging, we need to stay true to ourselves and do what is right for YOU. I really enjoyed reading through your ‘session’ because I have those feelings too and it made me think. Have a great week! x

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  5. Questions are always good. Answers might be difficult to come by, but like the question mark already knew, you have the answers.
    Should you decide to start a new blog, or change the topic of this one…I am sure I will be along for the ride.

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  10. Sometimes, well a lot of times, I will literally ask myself questions out loud when I don’t know what to do or I’m in a slump or whatever the case is. It always always surprises me when I come to an answer. It’s like I just needed to sit down and stop for a second and I realize the answer was inside me from the beginning. I feel like sometimes I am the type of person who likes to get approval from others or rather some form of assent before I do something but by asking myself, it’s almost like agreeing with myself and it helps!! As always, I love your post!!!

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  13. I Love this…I love feeling that I’m not all alone in the craziness of growing old in a beyond bizarre world where no many stops for even a millisecond to ponder this, that or anything. Glad there’s someone out there like you to keep the flow going and the craziness at bay. So very glad you’re back.

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    • Thank you so very much, Jeanne. I find aging fascinating and frightening at the same time, and there’s something driving me to write about it and explore it. As you know, the “aging world” can be a bizarre and dark place to visit, but I want to “go there” anyway. So glad you’re with me for the ride.

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  14. I get it! Been there…many, many times!!!!! Actually, I live there! Constantly questioning!!!! I have to stay busy!!!! Too busy to dwell!!l You are so interesting and oh so…creative!!!! Wish you lived close by! Find Nora Ephron’s audio tape. Put on some headphones, pour yourself a glass of wine, sit back and chill!
    Love…”I FEEL BAD ABOUT MY NECK”! I sure miss her!!!! 💙

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  16. This made me smile. 🙂 (I’ve added a smiley just in case your question mark wonders about the word ‘smile’.) I suspect we all get to that stage – the striving stops for a moment and pulls us up short. It’s jarring, isn’t it? Derrick’s question is similar to what I’m thinking… maybe now is the time to let go of the questions about ageing, and just live.

    By the way… many years ago I went to a therapist who drove me mad(der) echoing all my questions back at me. Pretty similar except it did nothing. Questions are much better coming from inside oneself than from other people, as you’re finding out.

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  17. Loved this! It reminded me of the Rilke quote: “Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue.” So many questions….

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  18. Wow can I relate to this one! This phase of our life can be very challenging, and one of the hardest things to deal with are the physical challenges. (If we ignore those aches and pains, we worry we’re ignoring important warning signs that something’s wrong. If we trot off the doctor to report them, we’re treated as if we are bothering them with vague and insignificant complaints.) Ultimately, I think you hit the nail on the head: we each have to find the way forward that works for us. There is not “one size fits all” ways to cope with aging.

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    • Hi Ann, I wish I could sit in the waiting room of a doctor’s office with you. We’d have a lot of laughs anticipating the doctor dreading our appointments. And you hit the nail on the head when you said the aging process is not “one size fits all.” It’s so freeing when you finally realize that, isn’t it?

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  20. Everyone hits a rut once in a while…I find that you can’t really force yourself to go the way you think you’re “supposed” to go as that makes things worse. I know a lot of bloggers who have hit a rut when it comes to writing. They just lost the interest and motivation. I’ve been there, too. And at these times, sometimes it calls for a break. And that’s okay. I know there’s the nagging guilt in the back of the head saying, “You should be doing this or that.” But maybe the universe is saying, “No, you don’t have to force yourself to do something and it’s okay.” Breaks are good for refreshing and renewal.

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  21. I love this! Going through our time filled with questions! Questions of self? Questions of where do I go from here!

    I’m glad you tried walking!!
    Another superb post filled with brute honesty!
    We will find the answers! Perhaps we already have. Are we holding onto the old, for fear of venturing out to find our true self?
    If we let go of the past, just a little might we see a bright light shining from ourselves? Hmmmm
    Perhaps THAT is the question!

    You have a lot of shine lady!!!
    Embrace it. ( I’m attempting it!),

    😘
    ❤️☀️☀️☀️❤️

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  22. Love this! There always is a question to the question and we are the only ones with the answers. I have to keep moving to keep my body going strong and luckily, I love exercise and yoga. I do the weight machines at my gym and use the lightest weight. I figure if its hard then I’m working my muscles. And re yoga, I don’t pay for private lessons…no way…but my town has yoga classes at the library for very reasonable rates and most of us there are “older”. Its perfect. See what your town might have to offer….one never knows until we venture out. Keep up the great inner dialogue about self care and so glad you are writing about it.

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    • So glad you’re reading about what I’m writing about and relating to it! If you don’t mind that I’m asking, what do you do in a yoga class for older people? What makes it easier or reasonable for people who are slightly older? I’m trying to select a class and it will help to know. Thanks!

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      • The yoga class isn’t “for” older people, it just happens to be full of late 40’s and up. I think the oldest is 70. The teacher is 56 so she isn’t a 20 something instructor leading us in a fast past cardio blasting twist and bind class..lol. The class is Hatha yoga. It’s gentle balance and stretch poses that are a wonderful blend of breathing, moving, stretching and strength building. We laugh at ourselves a lot when we fall out of balance or can’t hold a pose. The class is an hour of movement and then 15 minutes of relaxing meditation. It’s perfect! I hope you can find a class in your area. You’ll love it! Maggie

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  24. Hi Cathi
    Sounds like you’re ready to move on. It’s hard when we lose our momentum no matter how old we are. I was looking at the comment from Derrick Knight and your response. I like your idea of looking at the more positive side of aging. I look forward to your next adventure.
    Good luck
    Laura

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  25. Gosh I sure enjoyed reading this. Makes me glad to be back. I could really get into a private yoga class for overly sensitive, paranoid Baby Boomers or the one pound weights. I can relate to the random aches and pains for no reason I am aware of. Thankfully they come and go away for a while. And knowing my body can still heal helps. I fell off my bike a couple weeks ago (after not having ridden it in ages) and have been fascinated by watching my badly skinned knee heal.

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  26. I’m constantly asking myself a lot of questions and I’m only 51 years old. I sometimes feel like I have a hamster in my head. It does not create anxiety for me because the questions are more related to my creativity than to life problems. The expectation of answers frustrates me though coz I am not a very patient person. I think asking ourselves questions is not so much related to age but rather to our personality and the nature of our work. For my part, this is the case at least. With age, however, I learned to calm my mind so I could listen to the silence, realize that I am here now. I walk every day and breathe deeply. It is in these moments of relaxation that I usually find the answers to my questions. Great read Cathi. You are a very smart and intuitive person. I have the feeling you will always find the answers you are searching for within yourself.

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    • Wow. Thank you for your beautifully written, heartfelt response. To me, the most meaningful insight you shared was the reminder to simply say, “I’m here now.” For a moment, it pushes away all the noise in our heads and pulls us to the center. I also relate to your questioning process when it comes to creativity. I’m sooo there. 🙂

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  27. Holy, smokes, you hit a hot topic! You’re on fire, and ready to start again, that’s great! Remember there are two sides to a rut, the one you crawl down and the one you crawl out of. This time in life is full of looking back down at the rut instead of looking at how we’ve grown out of the rut. You’ll get there, and you’re in great company, just look at all the support! It’s nice to see you writing again, I’ve missed reading your conversations! Hang in there!!

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  29. I was wondering why you haven’t written for a long time and so came over to your home page and found this brilliant piece of writing. Wonder how i missed reading this the day it was published! ?
    What an irony! Asking questions to the question mark itself . 😊
    But the truth is it’s only by asking questions that you find answers . It’s all about asking the right questions at the right time . And through framing those questions and reading out our questions aloud , we find the answers ourselves .
    Like I have written in one of blogs earlier, when we have the questions ready, the answers appear from the universe in different ways .
    So all the best cathi. You have embarked on that journey .

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  31. “asking questions is a good way to start the process.”

    Truer words were never spoken–the Question Mark has given you a lot to think about, and you’ve passed all of it to us, your readers. As a fiction writer, my entire job description is to raise a lot of questions, and answer only a few.

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  35. I can totally relate. I have been feeling stuck for a long time now and am not sure what the answer is. kind of a restless feeling. I hope we both find the answer to our questions.

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  37. I sort of know how you feel. There was a time I felt so strongly inspired and I feel lately that I have been avoiding. I am trying to get back to it. I finally posted today after a long absence. I have loved all your writing an d look forward to it. There is always something new happening in life and your perspective and eloquent way of addressing is always fresh. I wanted to ask, did you say some time ago that you had put your works into a book? I think it would make a wonderful Christmas gift for a friend who just retired. Can you let me know?

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  40. Cathi – I really enjoyed this post. I could feel the frustration. I understand that feeling of what now and what do I need to do next? My thought is sometimes just asking questions is the place we need to start. And sometimes we need to ask these questions without getting or expecting an answer right away. I think that the question mark captured this perfectly. Hang in there. Sometimes the answers we seek are really just questions we need to ask. -Jill

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    • Awww Linda, thank you so very much for checking in on me. I’m fine. I just sort of reached a temporary standstill Over the Hill on the Yellow Brick Road. Like, there’s a fork in the road and I’m not sure which way to turn. I’ll be back posting soon. In the meantime, I continue to love reading your posts. 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

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  42. I was glad that Linda asked – I hope you are doing well… and sometimes it’s a good thing to take a breather. Who knew that blogging can be so complex – I know I didn’t Cathi and ever day I learn even more that I’m not doing that I should be doing 🙂 Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays – I hope you are having fun! hugs!

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