Over the Hill on the Yellow Brick Road, I noticed an older butt bopping happily down an endless, winding path. It seemed perfectly content with the world, so I ran to catch up with it and find out why.
Excuse me, butt. Mind if I walk with you?
BUTT: Not at all. It’s a beautiful day for a walk. Actually, so is every day.
You know, I couldn’t help noticing, even though you’re older, you have such a happy way about you.
BUTT: Of course I do. As a butt, I was born to grow older.
Why do you say that?
BUTT: Well, I think I can speak for all butts when I say we’re always the last part of the body to get where we’re going. So, as a butt, I love looking back on where I’ve been and what I’m leaving behind. I love the perspective and wisdom it brings. Every day, as I grow a day older, I have more to look back on and ponder.
I see. I guess I could look at the world that way, too. I mean, I have a butt.
BUTT: Clearly you haven’t had a conversation with it.
Not to date.
BUTT: I think the best part of being a butt is, you can look back on a situation or event in your life, leave it behind, and watch what it’s like as it continues to go on without you.
What’s great about that?
BUTT: It gives you closure. So you can move on with your life. To your next adventure.
I’m not sure what you mean.
BUTT: Well, for example, I guess you could relate it to being an empty nester. You can look back and watch your kids enjoying their lives even though you’re not there with them all the time. You can see how happy they are. Maybe that will bring you peace.
No. I don’t want my kids to be happy without me.
BUTT: Okay then, here’s another advantage. Looking behind, watching a moment that has passed, helps you draw upon inner strength.
BUTT: If you’re having a problem, you can look back on another, similar problem you’ve had in your life and watch the way you handled it and made it through.
True. I mean, like, during my lifetime, I’ve been in situations where my mind said it wanted to do one thing… but my body did another.
BUTT: Like when?
I had infertility issues. My mind wanted to have a child, but the rest of my body would not. Another time when I had headaches, my mind wanted them to stop but my head would not. And another time, when I had tinnitus, my head wanted the noise in my ears to stop, but my ears weren’t up for it.
BUTT: See? And I assume you got through all that stuff.
Yes. And now, my stomach is giving me trouble. My head wants my body to be all right, but my stomach’s not having it. And–
BUTT: Okay, okay. You don’t have to tell me everything. I’m not that interested.
I’m just saying, looking back on situations I’ve made it through helps me remember what I’m capable of.
BUTT: That has been my point all along.
Well, thank you for your help.
BUTT: And I want to thank YOU. During our entire conversation, you haven’t made one butt joke. I appreciate it. Those jokes are so annoying.
I know. They’re AS-inine.
BUTT: Are you proud of yourself now?
That ended our conversation. The butt waddled down the path, while I looked for a place to rest. But this time, I looked for a spot to sit that was exceptionally comfortable.