CONVERSATION WITH…An older door

As I travel Over the Hill on the Yellow Brick Road, I have to remind myself to look upward every once in a while.  I never know if a house will fall from the sky and crash on top of me. Today, an actual school building fell from the heavens. Thankfully, it landed along the side of the road.  Believe it or not, it was the building where my two children went to preschool!  I rushed inside and found their old classroom!  Though the room had been turned into a library, the old door was still there.  We chatted…

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Hey door?  Do you remember when I used to drop my kids off in your room a million years ago?

OLD DOOR:  Of course. I remember everyone who comes in and out of this place. I don’t have a lot else to do. I remember your son cried a lot when you dropped him off here at preschool.

Yeah. I remember leaving the room and then peeking through the window at the top of you to see how he was doing.

DOOR:  If memory serves, he was so upset he actually had to drop out and come back the next year.  He missed you terribly.

I know. Back then, I thought he would have fun in the classroom with the other kids as soon as I left. I also needed a little space for myself to live my own life.  So, I played with my son in the classroom for a while…and when I thought he’d be fine without me, I’d whisper, “I have to go now.”

DOOR:  And he’d wail.

Looking back, I guess he didn’t understand. It probably made no sense to him.  He was probably very hurt. But eventually he dried his tears and moved on.

DOOR: On the other hand…I remember your daughter didn’t mind being dropped off here at preschool.

I know!  Before I could finish saying, “I have to go now,” she was bopping over to the other kids. 

DOOR:  So you left, closed me behind you, and scrunched your nose up against my little window to see how your daughter was doing.

She was always having a good time. That made me very happy because I needed a little space for myself.  I needed to live my own life.

DOOR:  But! Your daughter always insisted on coming home for lunch.  She only wanted to stay in preschool for a few hours. That was her limit.

I remember sometimes she had to stay longer because I had to work. She cried.  She probably didn’t understand.  I probably hurt her feelings.

DOOR: But eventually she dried her tears and moved on.

And now the tables have turned.  My kids are young adults. When my daughter travels from the other side of the country for a visit, I always want her to stay longer and spend more time with me.  But, at a certain point, she says, “I have to go now.” 

DOOR: And your son?

He lives about an hour away. When he comes home for a visit, I soooo enjoy his company!  But at a certain point, he gets up and says, “I have to go now.” 

DOOR: That must be hard.

 I don’t always understand.  Sometimes it hurts my feelings. I miss my children terribly.

DOOR: But you dry your tears and move on.

Copyrightoverthehillontheyellowbrickroad2018

 

53 thoughts on “CONVERSATION WITH…An older door

  1. THIS is awesome! I had the opposite though. My son went off, and I cried, my daughter cried and I felt guilty!! Now my son lives 5 minutes from me, and I don’t see him often because of his work schedule, so when i do, I want to stop time. My daughter still lives with us, so no tears there 😉 Great piece on being a mom, Cathi ❤

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  2. I always click the link to your blog with a smile Cathi. I did that and I could slowly feel the expression on my face changing. From a big smile it ended up in an awwww feeling. So well written. Appreciate that door for witnessing so many kids go through that separation anxiety and putting up with each kid till he/she learnt to let go .

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  3. Another creative way to explore stages of our lives as parents – talking to a door. I love it. Now I’m looking through a door as my grandsons are going to school and pre-school. Sometimes when I’m lonely I feel like a family dog – always on the wrong side of the door.

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  4. My son had a hard time settling in nursery aged 4, but soon came to love it. My daughter couldn’t wait to go and hated it! My son brought his 2 young children for a visit this weekend, when it came to going home time, the 2 year old didn’t want to leave and the 4 year old got upset because she thought that if they didn’t leave she would never see Mummy again! Lovely post. 💜

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  5. I understand where you’re coming from! As I home educated both my children, it felt like I’d completely lost my purpose when they both went off to college and university. My son is still home every night for the time being but I miss conversations with my daughter now she is away. I’m glad (and lucky!) she still rings me often. It certainly takes some getting used to when your children move on.

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  6. You speak such truth with this. The table turn. I’ll have to remember this during those times when I get annoyed because my little one is clinging to me and I can’t get stuff done. One day she won’t think mom is cool and won’t want to be around me. Then eventually she may think mom is okay but then will leave the nest.

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  7. I have to say this really spoke to me! I remember how hard it could be to leave my kids when they were little, as sometimes they didn’t want me to (especially my son). And now that they are older, I’m the one who is being told “I have to go now….” It’s the price we pay for love, I guess!

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  8. And when I visit my mom, she lasts about an hour and a half, then says,”Well, I have nothing more to tell you. Good bye!” Lol!
    The wheel keeps rolling on… 🙂

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  9. Oh, you make me remember. Our younger daughter. We’d planned to work half-time, my wife and I so we wouldn’t have to leave her anywhere before she turned three. And then things changed at our jobs, so we had to leave her t the kindergarten already at one-and-a-half. We always felt bad about that, and there’s a photo of her sitting at the kindergarten just longing with her eyes. Now I’m a widower, and my daughter lives nearby. I’m so glad she and I can talk openly bout those times, how she felt about it and how I felt and acted. She’s told me about her pain at the time, and that’s the way we explore together what happened, what it meant to us then and what it means to us now.
    Thank you for making me remember.
    Ellington

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    • Thank you so very much for sharing your memory and the meaningful conversations it has led to. I think it’s wonderful that your daughter lives nearby and you can talk about moments in the past and how they have affected you. As a parent of young adults, I often think about what I might have done differently if I could do it all again. I Then I remember my husband and I were juggling so much at the time and did the best we could.

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  10. Duuuuuude this was such a good conversation. One I’ll probably have sooner than I think, then I’ll remember reading this and going … Yeah … She was right. Thanks for the reminder and thanks for posting!

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